1. |
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I think I was an astronaut
somehow in a past life,
maybe on another planet or
maybe time isn’t a line
that only goes one way,
maybe we bounce along
forward and back
until we find something
that makes us want to stay.
Maybe I’ll find that thing
that makes me want to stay.
She said "that cloud looks like a cloud
and maybe that's enough.
Maybe your endless quest for meaning’s
just what makes it all so rough.
Maybe all we need is
a clear sky, a six pack and the moon
and a hand to hold–
look here I’ve got two.
If you reach for me
love, I’ll reach for you."
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2. |
Voyagers I, II
03:08
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Wish I remembered being dumb, happy and young
Counting stars at night like i’d never run out
When clouds rolled in, i lost the count
Shaped my own constellations out of rocks
Wondered where I’d be in twenty years
Who would stick around? Who’d disappear?
And would time keep marching on?
Would morning come?
I didn’t need that,
Need that fear
But i held to it
I drew a map
The stars I would go to…
When i was a kid, i was full of doubt
Never escaped the orbit of my parent’s house
Years they passed and I outgrew
The doubts, the fears, the borders I knew
Now, I wonder about those I’ve met
Some love stuck around, but a lot didn’t
Some twin flames, they flicker out
When love goes dark
It never ends on
the right terms…
I hope they’re all alright
I hope they’ve had good lives
Romanticized the story of
Carl Sagan and Anne Druyan
The legacy they launched to space
Lonely voyagers in the longest race
At twenty five I made it to
Australia’s red sand dunes
Standing at Uluru staring up
At a stranger sky,
I never felt that,
felt that
Small
Welcomed the feeling
Deafening sound
Imagined the Big Bang
When i was a kid, I wanted to be
An astronaut but i couldn’t see
Well enough to pass the test
I damaged up my eyes trying to read
Comic books and stories of
Men who flew who were strong enough
To fight back their demons, save the world,
To do what’s right
I couldn’t see that,
See that path
But i still walked it
I was so lost
I had a compass
If it’s getting dark
Hold tight to my hand
Now here come the stars
Some nights I still count them
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3. |
shoeboxing
04:28
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Tonight I’m wrestling ink from the pen
Rearranging our history, rewriting our whys and whens
Turning what happened
The tragedy we became
Into a shore that’s refusing the wave
We never made it to our somewhere new
Though our eyes were wide with the folly of youth
We set out for adventure
The road was our sea
Lost it somewhere between A and B
So I’m stuck at the edge of a dream
Light hangs in the corner, I feel the weight of my teeth
I know I can’t stop it now
Paralizyed ‘neath this sheet
A nightmare shaped like memory
Where are you now?
Where am i now?
Got a shoebox with a past life in it
Trinkets that remind me love was easy as a kid
Gifts that you’d given
You weren’t always this cold
Those inside jokes used to make us howl
Still have that old walkie talkie
Hero-in-a-half-shell, you were the end of that beep
I’d turn it on now
But the button, it sticks,
And there’s no answer, just echoes, static
The world’s burning, it smells like your sheets
Lavender mixed with rose hips, hint of sweat where you’d sleep
If it’s all gonna burn
Guess it only makes sense
You’re the fire, i can't help but breathe in
Where are you now?
Where am i now?
If spilling ink could rewrite history
I’d pour out whole buckets, declare war on blank sheets
Cover the whole path that we traced ‘cross the map
Black out whole names, decades, diaries
But i can’t, no, I can’t, no I won’t
All i can do is remember with my words, my hope
If i keep calling up your ghost, with my songs and this pen
Maybe some night, I’ll find clarity
And I’ll laugh you off
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4. |
sisyphus, wondering
03:03
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Know it’s late now
And me calling…
This isn’t a thing you’ve missed
But I've been drinking, barely thinking
And I ended up doing this.
So hey, as long as I’ve got you,
Maybe it’s time that we caught up
And had a talk?
Please don’t hang up
Know i miss you
Know i’m sorry
Know it’s way too late for this
It’s been years now
Different lives now
Not bound up in all that was
We had longing
Maybe I’m reaching
For a hope we never held
I was lost,
I’m on the mend
Know i’m shaking
And i’m trembling
See, my mind’s a smoke alarm
When i’m near you
It’s a problem
I can’t seem to shut it off
So if i’m vacant,
I’m still listening
I’m just drowning in the sound
Of trumpets
I’m sisyphus, wondering
What if i make it up that hill?
Would i just go back down again?
Could i go higher still?
Know it’s late now
And if you’re still there,
Know i never meant for this
There was laughter
It still echoes
I still taste you my lips
‘Cause when i see you
And think of you
I still feel you in my bones
I’m awake
I’m alive
So if you’re still there and you’re wondering
If there’s gold still in these hills
Well, I believe
And I’m sifting
If there’s hope
Then I’m digging
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5. |
dark room
03:26
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The cold is thick and heavy, frost and liquor tint my breath
I stumble down, collapse in a booth
Whiskey neat, warm my thoughts, cloud my climb
I’m sinking as the night comes into view
Then I see you
It’s clearly, you
Years later, you
A swirling separation, stacks of boxes block the way
Buried by a collapsing of the truth
The walls are getting thin, clock ticks unstuck in time
Twin planets drifting from the light
I still see you
In the dark, you
Lost in space, you
I am still taking pictures in this weird low light
Reaching with my eyes to learn more
Exposing what was to a chemical bloom
Trying to see what I couldn’t see before
I just see you
I reach for, you
In the night, you
Losing time, you
It’s always been you
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6. |
an easy person
05:20
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You’re not an easy person
Though you pretend to be
You laugh things off, pretend that if no one sees it
Then the truth just doesn’t dig deep
It’s ok to be human
You don’t have to play dumb
You should stop when your whole body says stop
You should listen to those that you love
You don’t have to embellish
The stories that you tell
You know your friends always see right there through them
You always have the right to be dull
You’re more than your haircut
You can stop fussing with your heart
Keep waiting for the perfect moment
You’ll just be left alone in the dark
I’m not saying these things
Thinking you’ll change
But it helps for me to hear them too
If I can get through to me….maybe i’ll get through to you
Don’t have to keep looking backwards
Your shadow knows not to beg
The life you lived will always be back there
But you can learn to look towards the sun
You know your heart can take it
If you coax it into opening
You should open your ears, learn there’s more stories to hear
If you just practice listening
Again, I’m not saying these things, thinking you’ll change
But it helps for me to hear them too
If I can get through to me….maybe i’ll get through to you
You’re not an easy person
No one can read your heart
But if you start communicating with the mouth you were given
say the words that you’re thinking
give the love you’ve been saving
thank the ones who need thanking
be there for friends who’ve been hurting
forgive the ones you’ve been shunning
patch the past you’ve been tearing
return the thanks you’ve been taking
love the truth you’ve been living
turn the love you’ve rejected
into lessons worth giving
that you’ll prove out by living
day by day you keep living
On and on you keep living
On and on you keep loving
On and on, you'll start singing
Hey, that’s a start
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7. |
if you have to go, go
03:19
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If you have to go
I won’t stand in your way
There’s nothing more to say
We both had our say
But if you need a map
I’ll see what I can find
I won’t let you go blind
Into the night
If you need to talk
I promise to stay kind
My ears always have time
I always loved your eye
But know, I wish you’d stay another year
I don’t like who I am without you here
If you need some space
I’ll make myself small
I won’t be a crowd
Do you, I’ll be gone
If you need my love
You know, it’s never left
It’s right here, on my breath
Take the hand at my wrist
But know, I wish you’d stay another year
I don’t like who I am without you here
I once called you home
You could still call me home
But I’ll be the one to go
If you need me to go
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8. |
tethered
03:13
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We were once poor sun-kissed punks
Pirate tongues in our mouths
Armed with a tuneless chord
Screaming through dusty haunts
Splashed through the endless tides
Tight summer skin at our sides
Seeing how far we’d drive
Full tank and our sun-drunk eyes
But I got out
And I tried to get you out
When I think of you now, you’re a forever “what if?”
It’s like you were a penguin
I was a condor in flight
High oversea, searching and pleading, desperate for a bite
Now when i find silence
Fill it with the sounds of time
Anthems from our lost youth
Bridging the great divide
I fuss with the radio
Hoping for songs I know
Something to take me back
To summers spent drinking and flirting, searching
Do I haunt you?
Or do you just haunt me?
If you’re a ghost, well you’re tethered here to me now
Did I really get out?
Or did you get out?
A small house and a lawn, you’re in the driveway, standing there, waving at me saying “come home.
Mike, you could just come home.
If you feel like a ghost, well you know you don’t have to be.
You could come home.
You could just come home.
You still know the way,
the roads haven’t changed,
the key is still right where you know it’ll be.”
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9. |
love, at the end
05:06
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my eye caught your brow
sweat glistened and dripped
walked the boiling reservoir
your dog chasing kids
your hand held my shaky hand
our steps steady and slow
the red sun’s dipping down some
we’ve still got some ways to go
though the air’s feeling heavy tonight
the view yellowed by smoke
visibility limited
i'm lost in the thought
of a life rich with
stories re-lived and retold
here at the end of everything,
i’m happy to be yours
the sky’s gone black
and wildfires still burn
the earth’s cleaved shards and shivering
you try to ease my concerns
you say “Don’t worry, my sweetest one,
as long as the tide still flows.
the stars shimmer impossible.
let’s see how this night unfolds.”
your hope, I hold
and grip here tight in my palm
here at the end of everything
i'm happy to be found
it's easier to dream than to manifest
a picture perfect day framed by a wedding dress
i’m waking up
in a bed that’s captured a dream
i’ll hold you tight, sweetness
let’s go back to sleep
we’ve all known hurt
a ghost with a million names
here at the end of everything
let’s throw the past away
the ash, it falls
it’s getting harder and harder to breathe
here at the end of everything
it’s all coming down
here at the end of everything
we stand glory-bound
if this is the end of everything,
let’s find you a crown
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10. |
give me the moon
06:39
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Sundays were for sinning
In a rented room
Our floor was so high,
Just like the sun,
Just like me and you
Think we were just coming down
From that trip we were on
Started in Colorado
Dragged it to Virginia
Now we can’t shake it off
Both knew we were over
Before we were over
Pretended it wasn’t
“Stop talking crazy”
Still we split it all up
If I took you for granted,
It was cause you took me for good
I kept the records
You got the friends
The memories were tricky
You got the beginnings
I took the ends
You got The Zombies
But I kept our song
Now can’t tell you who sang it,
It’s a death sentence,
I can’t turn it on
You kept the apartment
Don’t know how you did
I remember the echo
When it was emptied out
It’s still in my head
If I took you for granted,
It was cause you took me for good
And if I was a bad habit
It’s time you kicked me for good
Cracked the globe like a smile
We picked up the shards
You got my hometown
I took Australia
We shared New York
Split the years down the middle
First cut the deck at mid-June
Instead we went by the daylight
“How about you take the sun?
Just give me the moon”
I picked you like a pocket
Held you tight in my hand
But you were never mine
I could not claim that
My hand’s opening
If I took you for granted,
It was cause you took me for good
And if was your bad habit
It’s time you kicked me for good
If we stick to the schedule
We should never run back into
Each other again
There’s no clean split for shared lives
Only two halves that go on
Like a voice with no echo
A chord with no strumming
A chorus with no song
I think it goes like…
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11. |
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